Justice "Stress" - Video of the Year?

Charles Barkley

Is Charles Barkley making a last minute bid for WHS Man of the Year? He was arrested last night around 1:30 AM in Arizona after running a stop sign. He refused the breathalyzer and was forced to give a blood sample. Results are pending. Here is the photo from the police dept. Who is that sweaty at 1:30 AM?

Here is a nice quote from Charles Barkely from back in the day:
After an Olympic Dream Team victory over Angola, in which they won 116-48, Charles got into a physical altercation with a member of Angola towards the end of the game, afterwards he says: "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me."

Donald Gibb as Ray Jackson in Bloodsport = Hilarious

"OK, USA!"


"What the hell is a dim-mack?"

Best Photos of 2008

While we eagerly await the WHS Man of the Year, I thought I would post a collection of great photos from 2008. I have included my favorite:

WHS Gives Gran Torino "Triple Threat Award"

Washington, DC. In an unprecedented move the founding members of WHS have crowned Clint Eastwood's new masterpiece with the "Triple Threat Award of 2008" for Best Movie, Actor and Song.

After a packed screening in Georgetown WHS blog founders lauded Clint's moving portrayal of "Walt Kawalski" - an unbelievably racist Polish man caught in the middle of a Detroit gang war between Hmong neighbors (referred to by Walt as "swamp rats, gooks, zipperheads, dragon ladies, fish heads and dog eaters among many other epithets") - as perhaps the greatest performance of his career.

Most surprising however, award for Best Song of 2008 was also handed out to Clint Eastwood for "Tribute Gran Torino." When the song and Eastwood's raspy voice blasted over the Dolby Surround Sound speakers in the final scene, Blog members were shocked and moved to tears.



WHS would like to extend its congratulations to Mr. Eastwood and his family.

Farewell, Bush

On Fire

Countdown to Gran Torino Part 5 - Studio Buckles Under Pressure

In an unprecedented move Warner Brothers has buckled under the pressure of WHS and is now opening Gran Torino all across Virginia. In fact Gran Torino will open at Tyson's Corner on 2 screens simultaneously, one screen with special closed captioning (most likely for all the hard of hearing elderly southern men who will flock to the film this Christmas to enjoy hearing someone who looks like them screaming racial epithets at Asians and pointing guns at gang members). Congratulations to everyone at this blog and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Countdown to Gran Torino Part 4 - Breaking News - Studio Pussying Out?

Something fishy is going down right now on the Warner Brother's lot. 

First, as posted earlier today, Gran Torino's marketing campaign was completely altered from that of an old fashioned Race film to a bizarre Buddy Movie plotline. 

Then a search for theaters in the Washington, DC area playing Gran Torino this weekend, Christmas Weekend, the biggest weekend of the year, reveals ZERO theaters in Virginia. Only 2 in Downtown DC and one in Bethesda, Maryland.

First thought would suggest a box office receipt problem, perhaps Gran Torino isn't making enough money in its limited release to warrant a larger expansion. But further investigation reveals that in its first week in release Gran Torino made 271K while playing on only 6 screens in the entire country. That's a per-screen average of 45k, the largest per screen average of any film in release! Then, second week the studio decided to only expand the film to 19 screens and yet it still made an average of 25k, a large decline per screen but still enough to make it the 2nd highest per screen average in the country. 

So why is Warner Brothers failing to back Clint Eastwood's latest masterpiece? Is there a conspiracy against this film that we aren't aware of? What is the real story? We Has Spoken demands an answer. And also demands an opening in Northern Virginia on Christmas Weekend.

Countdown to Gran Torino Part Three - New Misleading TV Spots

During Monday Night Football they played the new TV spot for Grand Torino. It's pretty much the opposite of the trailer. This TV spot would seem to suggest the following storyline: Clint Eastwood befriends nerdy Asian boy neighbor and together they take on an entire Asian street gang and clean up the neighborhood. Strangely there's no mention in this TV spot of the words Swamp Rats or the blatant racism on display in the 2 minute trailer. Still the movie seems as awesome as ever. Getting better by the minute.

Awesome Mix Tape: Please Hammer Don't Poke My Eye Out

Wikipedia says it all:

The video for "Pumps and a Bump" generated a great deal of controversy because it depicted MC Hammer in speedos and what appeared to be an erection. Many felt that this was too graphic a depiction of the male form in a music video, and as a result the video did not receive much airplay on MTV and similar music video stations.

Some argue that the "Pumps and a Bump" video was the main factor in unraveling MC Hammer's career. After having built a relatively wholesome image in the rap genre, many felt that with the release of The Funky Headhunter, MC Hammer was attempting to appear gangsta, and in the video for "Pumps and a Bump" he was presenting an overly sexualized image that did not dovetail very well with his earlier, relatively clean-cut image.

Awesome Mix Tape Continued: The REAL Stan Bush

Here is the official video for "You've got the Touch," brought to you by blue screen technology and cocaine.



Note: There is a stupid intro, the real video starts at 1 minute.

What the hell?!?!?

Zero Control: John Cafferty "Hearts On Fire" & Stan Bush "The Touch"

WHS members enjoyed a mix cd titled "Zero Control" a few years back. This collection featured music from 1980s movies performed by mostly no-name artists. The music is simply on fire.

From Rocky IV:


From The Transformers: The Movie

Look Who Got Fat: Alfonzo Ribeiro "Carlton Banks"

From these photos we can deduce two things: Carlton likes cheeseburgers and white women.

Look Who Got Fat: Jack Nicholson

Look Who Got Fat Week: D'Angelo

Emilio Estevez

I couldn't find a good picture to fully dramatize the weight gain but this definitely aint your mother's Emilio Estevez.

Look Who Got Fat Week: Val Kilmer

Such a fatty.

Mike Tyson, HEAVYweight.

Damn, he got fat.

Related links:
10 Reason Mike Tyson Should Stay a Real Heavyweight
Mike Tyson is Fat Now (The Camera Adds 65 Pounds)

Bonus link: Click on the "Fat Mess" label to view a similar WHS post from the past.

How Tom Hanks became Tom Cheeks

Ironically, when he was "Big" there were no Cheeks:

But then he discovered "A Cheeks of His Own":

And then...."Looook at what I have created!! I have made Cheeks! I....have made Cheeks!!"

Much to Paul Newman's chagrin in 2002, his co-star was officially on the "Road to Cheeks":

And now, after years of timeless classics such as "Cheeksadelphia", "DaVincheeks Code", and "Cheeks Me If You Can"....this

WHS BREAKING NEWS: GEORGE BUSH ATTACKED BY SHOES

President Bush had 2 shoes thrown at him by a man at a press conference in Iraq. Bush ducked out of the way and maintained an 'on fire' calmness.

You Asked For Andy Warhol, Here's Your Warhol

TDK Ad:

Steven Spielberg Is Fucking Weird

Andy Warhol, Bianca Jagger, and Steven Spielberg having a conversation in a hotel room.

Gran Torino RED ALERT - Urgent Update

Further to the Gran Torino RED ALERT. WHS has obtained the following document:


TV Spot:

Bobby Brown: The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth. The Next Canseco

Code Blue, Code Blue...take the chains off the doors!
-Mr. Clark

That is how I felt when I read that Bobby Brown is writing a "tell all" book about his life with Whitney. Here is a little background:

"Originally the book was authored by Brown himself. But when it was announced in this space last April 4th, a number of red flags went up. One of them was no doubt from Houston’s divorce lawyers. Bobby signed a confidentiality agreement with Houston in which he promised not to write anything about her.

Whoops!

So back to the drawing board these guys went, trying to figure out what to do. In essence, the result is that the book is now technically authored by Handspike. In his foreword, he does promise, however, that Brown “is still fairly compensated.” Who is he fooling? No one. Handspike also says in the foreword that he was forced to published the book somehow, someway, because he had “over a hundred thousand pre-orders” and that “all the major wholesalers and retailers were waiting on the edge of their seats” for this volume. (foxnews.com)"

Damn right I'm waiting on the edge of my seat!

SNL Digital Short

Just watch:

SNL Digital Short - Jizz in my pants - 12/06/08 - watch more funny videos

No words.

UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY ALERT - LEVEL RED: Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino"

WHS has posted this urgent advisory for Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino". The advisory has been classified as a RED ALERT, meaning the threat to Eastwood's legacy is severe, and that a WHS field trip to the Court Street 12 is mandatory.

Note that he says "get off my lawn". This may be a tribute to Harrison Ford's disgracefully hilarious "get off my plane" from "Air Force One" (clip follows Eastwood trailer).

"Get Off My Lawn!"


"Get Off My Career!"


The We Has Spoken Alert System:
RED (severe): guaranteed career-spoiling unintentional comedy, theater attendance is required on opening weekend
ORANGE (high): very likely career threat to a film legend, damage may be very difficult to overcome, theater attendance is highly recommended
YELLOW (elevated): trailer may hint at career-jeopardizing lines and performances but may contain all the film actually has, dvd screening is acceptable

Pacquiao: Champ, Lopez: Chump

Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao beat Oscar "don't hurt me too hard" De La Hoya's ass last night. Even with Pacquiao holding back for the last four rounds, it still wasn't even close. The match was officially called "by the ref" after 8 rounds, but actually De La Hoya's camp threw in the towel; They were overheard deciding to give in because Pac-Man was simply "too fast." I suspect if De La Hoya wasn't hosting the fight and if boxing wasn't such a corrupt enterprise, Pacquiao would have KO'ed De La Hoya in the 6th round.

In related news, while Fillipinos everywhere rejoiced over this triumphant victory for their country, All@n Lopez completely missed the whole fucking thing. Disgrace.

DISGRACE ALERT: O.J. Simpson Apologizes; Johnnie Cochrane Rolls in Grave

O.J. Simpson disgraced himself yesterday at his sentencing by violating some of WHS very simple rules. Number one, he apologized. Apologizing is one of the cardinal WHS sins. Secondly, he mentioned composing book reports for children. Mentioning children is also a cardinal sin when in front of a judge. Jesus Christ.

John: dude speaking of disgrace - OJ
Allan: WTF
John: begging for the mercy of the court
John: by saying he wrote book reports for a kids?
Allan: i know
John: seriously
Allan: i hate oj now
John: et tu, OJ?
Allan: AHHAHA FB Status
hahahahaah
John: done
Allan: hahahha
i was so disappointed
you know what's worse?
when someone gets off or a light sentence
and they DON'T celebrate
John: i know
they need to celebrate
Allan: like when michael jackson didn't moonwalk in fornt of the courthouse
John: the picture on the cover of the times today shows OJ's attorney covering his eyes
and i know he's just thinking:
"Sorry Johnny Cochran"
Allan: hahahahahahaha
oh shit
johnny cochran is rolling in his grave
John: i know
he's going to rise again for the appeal
Allan: oh shit
hahahahah
i am laughing so damn hard now
John: ha haha
we should post this on WHS

Scott Walker Documentary Opening at IFC Center on December 17th

I have seen this film and it's terrific. Highly recommended viewing. Similar to The Upsetter: The Life & Music of Lee Scratch Perry, both films educate the public on an influential (and eccentric) musician that does not get nearly enough respect and props.

My apologies for the bizarre font style but I copied and pasted it from the filmmaker's email.

Scott Walker: 30 Century Man
Portrait of music's best kept secret OPENS IN NYC AT IFC CENTER DECEMBER 17
LA just announced for Nuart February 27
SF/Berkeley runs start Jan 23

www.scottwalkerfilm.com

Bailout Form

I found this pretty amusing:




Link...

Be Like Mike

No time for a real update. Just a video that makes me feel really, really old.

WHS Presents Dynamic Duo #1: Joe Pesci and Clarence 'Frogman' Henry

"Ain't Got No Home", by Henry, meets "Nicky Santoro", by Pesci, in Martin Scorsese's "Casino". Unreal.



Wow.

1-888-CALL-VLAD

We need to call-in:

Nov. 25 (Bloomberg) -- Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin will hold a live call-in show on national television next week, in what analysts say may signal the start of his campaign to regain the presidency.

I'm going to call-in and pretend to be Victor Yushchenko.

Monkey Waiters in Japan

Eating Contest

Allan had this ridiculous idea that he could beat me in a red meat eating contest. In fact, he was bragging that he ate a three pound sirloin last night. I told him that I eat like every day is Thanksgiving, and that he doesn't know what he is talking about. However, this got me thinking. He may not be able to beat me in most eating competitions, but there is an entire cookbook where I simply cannot compete...he's just too advanced: Natural Harvest (take a look at the customer reviews)

Least Popular Kid in School

This video made me feel kind bad for the guy. I mean, sure he's the worst president ever, but it's just sad to see him walking by all the other world leaders with his head hanging like that.

Diego Armando Maradona & A Documentary

Argentina beat Scotland yesterday, 1-0, in an international friendly. It was Maradona's first match in charge of the national side.

I've been following the buildup to this match on BBC's Football page and what's fascinating is how Maradona remains larger than life. I read that Maradona was received as a hero in Scotland for his role in defeating England in the 1986 World Cup. A good deal of the Scottish apparently still love that shit and will always revere Diego. The press was going nuts for him for a multitude of reasons but it was certainly interested in whether there would be a handshake between Maradona and Scotland's English assistant manager, Terry Butcher. Butcher, still in an unforgiving mood after Maradona's "Hand of God" goal versus England in that World Cup, had said he wouldn't acknowledge Argentina's new boss. You can read about what happened after the match in this Daily Mail article.

From a WHS perspective, Maradona is seriously on fire. He had set the world ablaze with his off-pitch behavior and struggles (blew up to like 300 pounds if not more) and bounced back in many ways (lost the weight) to become manager of one of the most talented teams in the world. Remember that he was also extremely vocal against George W. Bush and appeared at rallies with Hugo Chavez. Scorching. I can't even begin to scratch the surface of the on-fireness of Diego Armando Maradona.

A good start would be to somehow see a screening of or get our hands on Emir Kusturica's documentary, which I thought was called "El Pibe de Oro" but maybe it's changed?

Maradona by Emir Kusturica - trailer:


Holy Shit:


Hand of God:

Prince in the New Yorker...

Apparently representatives from his camp issued an apology to the Gay community for what Prince said in this New Yorker article.

"So here’s how it is: you’ve got the Republicans, and basically they want to live according to this.” He pointed to a Bible. “But there’s the problem of interpretation, and you’ve got some churches, some people, basically doing things and saying it comes from here, but it doesn’t. And then on the opposite end of the spectrum you’ve got blue, you’ve got the Democrats, and they’re, like, ‘You can do whatever you want.’ Gay marriage, whatever. But neither of them is right.”
When asked about his perspective on social issues—gay marriage, abortion—Prince tapped his Bible and said, “God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, ‘Enough.’ ”



The rest of the article is really fascinating.

KANYE WEST

Julian Schnabel & David Bowie Discuss "Basquiat"

Charlie Rose interviews Julian Schnabel and David Bowie about the film "Basquiat". This is an entire episode.

Secrets of Talk Radio

I thought this was an interesting article. Just thought I would post.

I first got into journalism because I thought I could make a difference.

I wrote for the school newspaper and did “news” reports on a radio station a friend and I started at my high school in Springfield, Mo. I got my first professional job at age 20, while still in college, at a local radio station’s news department. Three years later, I became a news director, and 12 years after that, in 1995, I was recruited to move to Milwaukee to become news director at WTMJ, one of the largest and most successful news/talk radio stations in America.

That was where my real education occurred.

More...

Who Is Fleecing Who?

I need a dining table and I've got my eye on this one:



Pro: either 70s or 80s, top is a convincing wood like veneer, close proximity to my apartment.

Cons: probably not made out of wood, no leaf, no chairs.

I sent an email of intent to acquire this table for $50 and it was accepted.

Who's fleecing who?

BITCHES AINT SHIT

I've been noticing a disturbing trend lately. Young people around the world are highly confused. Apparently they're under the impression that Ben Folds wrote and performed the original version of Bitches Aint Shit. While I must give Ben Folds proper respect for covering this classic song...



I must remind fools who made that shit in the first place - the motherfuckin' D - R - E and Snoop Dogg, you young people might remember Dre as being 'the guy that discovered Eminem" and Snoop as "the guy from that Ben Stiller movie." But where I'm from these guys were fucking legends.



Recognize, fools.

White Van Bias

There's a Duracell commercial airing about these days that further damns those that operate white vans. A mother is suddenly distressed when she loses sight of her child, Kevin, for a few seconds (another point to be made is that "Kevin" may also be the official name of a lost boy - see Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. There's a Home Alone 3 that needs to be fact-checked for the presence of a Kevin). She's clearly in a state of wtf but it isn't until she notices a white van pulling away that we see her panic stoked to towering levels.

Duracell is playing to society's fear of white vans. It reminds me of the hunt for the D.C. snipers a few years back. The public was told to be on the lookout for vehicles of the type. Check out the headline from this BBC story.

On urbandictionary.com, under the definition for "molester van", you'll see entry number two specifies the color of a molester van is white.

More links:
WPTV story featuring a victim speaking about an attempted kidnapping.

eNews Park Forest story about the arrests of those staging a kidnapping featuring, what else, a white van.

Duracell ad

Uh....

Touch My Body


We Belong Together

We Spoke

Dashiki!

Since WHS has not officially commented on the current political situation here in DC, I think this is appropriate.

EDIT: 236.com is no longer allowing this video to be embedded. Here's the link to watch it on their website.

Single? Wehasspokendating.com

I just read an article on what company is behind those dating signs you see everywhere. Well, at least I do, I pass a ton of them on my way to work. Its a pretty good article and reads like a short mystery novel, so I thought I would share.


Over the past two years, I have developed a growing fascination with lawn signs. Not the ones advertising politicians or plumbers, but the ones advertising websites. Dating websites.

These signs are so prevalent in my area that I decided to launch a private investigation into who was behind them and just how far they stretched. What I found started in my small home town and led me all the way to the secret guerilla marketing infrastructure of a multimillion-dollar company…

More

WHS On Fire Editorial Board Endorses Neither John McCain Nor Barack Obama

This election cycle has been a distressing one in terms of how few on fire moments we were given to play with. Senator Obama has been far too measured, too cool, and too deliberate to deliver any serious unintentional comedy while Senator McCain is too angry and often times far too creepy to be entertaining.

The flashes of promise from both campaigns have come from those surrounding the candidates. Reverend Wright remains scorching hot for his inability to tone himself down while Daddy Yankee's agonizing endorsement of McCain will surely ruin his career. Just yesterday, Dick Cheney quite publicly endorsed McCain. This further enhances Cheney's on fire status as he certainly knows his backing is toxic.

For 16 years we have had a Commander-in-Chief that has been on fire. Presidents Clinton and Bush gave us limitless material. Neither Obama nor McCain has shown himself to be a worthy successor to Bush in the on fire arena. This uncomfortable truth is the reason why WHS is refraining from an on fire endorsement.

Daddy Yankee


Rev. Wright


Clinton with Yeltsin


George Bush is a God

FUCK YOU, BANKS. YOU GUYS SUCK.

We’re All Bankers Now. So Why’s the A.T.M. Still Charging Us $2?

By CLYDE HABERMAN

Published: October 30, 2008

According to our math, not the most reliable of guides, each taxpayer in this country has a $1,785.71 ownership share in the banks of America.

This figure is based on the $250 billion that the Treasury Department is investing in banks to prod them to start lending again. We divided $250 billion by 140 million, which the Internal Revenue Service says is the number of individual tax returns filed last year. By our count, that gives every taxpayer a $1,785.71 stake in JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup, Wells Fargo, Bank of America and the rest.

(In that 140 million, we are not including Charles J. O’Byrne, who resigned under fire as Gov. David A. Paterson’s top lieutenant. We can’t be sure that Mr. O’Byrne has fully recovered from what his lawyer calls late-filing syndrome when it comes to his taxes. Also excluded is Joe the Publicity-Hungry Unlicensed Plumber. Public records have shown that Joe suffers from Sticky Fingers Syndrome in paying all that he owes.)

Far be it for us to tell Henry M. Paulson Jr., the treasury secretary, or Ben S. Bernanke, the Federal Reserve chairman, how to manage $250 billion. They’re the brains. And they’re doing a heck of a job. Thanks to all that brilliance in Washington and on Wall Street, the rest of us now know how to make a small fortune: by investing a large fortune.

But as shareholders, we have thoughts on aspects of banking that seem beyond the scope of Messrs. Paulson and Bernanke. Call them small-bore issues. But they affect ordinary people every day.

Let’s start with something really easy. Is it too much to ask that all banks have pens that work on the counters with the deposit and withdrawal slips? In too many places, the pens are useless. How can people feel confident that their money is being managed wisely if those in charge can’t even provide a functioning pen?

As shareholders, we were going to suggest that the top executives of the banks forgo end-of-year bonuses, but Andrew M. Cuomo, New York’s attorney general, was ahead of us. He sent a letter on Wednesday to nine big financial institutions asking for information about their plans in this regard. It doesn’t guarantee that mega-bonuses are finished. But, really, why should we give a dime to executives who had to come to us hat in hand? Better to give an extra buck or two to the guy in the subway with an outstretched plastic cup.

How about a moratorium on new bank branches in New York neighborhoods? The tanking economy will probably take care of that anyway. But an ironclad agreement by the banks to halt further expansion would delight New Yorkers. Many are infuriated as they watch cherished local stores die and give way to impersonal bank outlets, often located within yards of one another. Enough is enough.

Why not forbid any bank receiving taxpayer money to purchase naming rights to sports stadiums and arenas? Citigroup is handing the Mets something like $20 million a year to call their new stadium Citi Field. Surely, the Mets do not need Citigroup’s money — not to mention yours — to keep failing to make the playoffs.

Might we end the procedure by which banks stiff you when you deposit a large check? Often, you are initially credited with only part of the deposit, and must wait a few days to gain access to the rest. Meanwhile, the bank is using the withheld portion to pick up a few bucks for itself. Check-clearance times have been speeded up in recent years. But why shouldn’t depositors be able to get at their money immediately, all of it?

For that matter, why must bank customers pay several times to retrieve cash at an A.T.M. (known to some as short for Always Taking Money)? If you use an A.T.M. at a bank other than your own, that bank usually charges you a fee. Fair enough. But your own bank also charges you for the same transaction. So you pay twice for the privilege — no, make that the right — to withdraw your own money. How is that?

As long as we have $1,785.71 at stake, can’t we ask that banks have recognizable names?

A few years ago, something called Sovereign Bank began popping up all over town. We’d never heard of Sovereign. Now, just as we’ve been getting used to the name, we learn that Sovereign has had it.

A full-page advertisement in Thursday’s paper announced that Sovereign had been taken over by a company called Santander. What in the name of the Bailey Savings and Loan is Santander?

Turns out that the full name is Banco Santander, based in Spain. Want to bet that Santander left out “banco,” except in very small type at the bottom of the ad, so that few would see right away that another piece of America had been acquired by a foreign institution.

Sovereign, we hardly knew ye. But at least you didn’t go by a dopey moniker like WaMu. That’s what Washington Mutual called itself before it, too, flopped. The name WaMu will soon be gone, whammo!

Here’s hoping the same doesn’t happen to our $1,785.71.

E-mail:haberman@nytimes.com

NY Times Article about Brooklyn Beer Distribution

At the Atlantic Antic this year Allan and I were talking about how SixPoint basically owned Atlantic Avenue for 12 hours. They must have had a stand every block, sometimes 3 to a block.

Brooklyn Returns to a Heady Time

By PAUL ADAMS

Published: October 28, 2008

BROOKLYN produced one-fifth of the nation’s beer as recently as 1960. By 1976, when Rheingold and Schaefer shuttered their Brooklyn plants, the number of local breweries dropped to zero.

Now the hops are stirring in Brooklyn once again.

Sixpoint Craft Ales, which has been brewing an increasingly popular range of beers in a small brew house in Red Hook for four years, just bought a bottling line and a brewing system that will let it increase production tenfold — to about 60,000 barrels a year.

They’re hoping to close a deal on a property in Williamsburg to install their new equipment soon.

MORE

Happy Halloween

There are no words.

John Daly Has Spoken

From SI:
When you hear the words "Hooters," "John Daly" and "extremely intoxicated" in the same sentence, you know where this story is going.

In the latest chapter of Daly's longtime struggle with alcohol abuse, Daly was held overnight in a North Carolina jail after passing out at a Hooters restaurant, according to Winston-Salem police.

Police officers were called to the Hooters at 120 Hanes Square Circle in Winston-Salem at 2:17 a.m. When police arrived, Daly, who had passed out at the restaurant, was already being treated by emergency medical workers, according to police reports. Emergency workers said Daly refused to go to a hospital.

According to police, Daly "appeared extremely intoxicated and uncooperative." Daly again refused to go to the hospital and was eventually asked to leave by Hooters employees, police said.

Because the clearly drunk Daly had no transportation home, police said they held Daly in custody at a local jail until he sobered up, and then he was escorted home. Daly was photographed by police, but does not appear to have been charged with any crime.

After his bizarre appearance at the British Open, where he accused his former coach Butch Harmon of lying about Daly's alchohol abuse and then struggled to break 90, and his shirtless round in Missouri which was a YouTube hit, this latest episode is more proof that Daly, who still has a tremendous fan following, is now far more famous as a sad sideshow than the long-hitting Babe Ruth of golf who came from nowhere to win the 1991 PGA Championship.

I thought I would include a nice video of John at a the Pro-Am:

Richard Belzer Has Spoken

The Goth's favorite actor weighs in on the election.

I don't think most people understand how dangerous it would be to elect the Republican ticket in 2008. I believe McCain is a genuinely dangerous person. And his age is not the point. I know people in their eighties who are very sharp. My concerns about McCain are that he was tortured for five years during the Vietnam War, which isn't necessarily ennobling.

Think about his inability to raise his arms above his head. Keep that in mind for someone with such oversized pride and ego, who is so enamored of himself. The fact that he can't comb his own hair—he must be seething with so much anger for his inability to do the most basic acts. It's an anger that underscores everything he does. And it's an anger, in particular, for people who question his judgment.

RIP ZIMA

Introduced in 1993, the year most of us here entered high school, Zima wasn't the first alcoholic beverage I drank (that would probably be Olde English 80o) but it was certainly the first beverage that a number of girls I sloppily made out with in high school drank (along with Boone's Strawberry Hill or whatever that shit was called).



MillerCoors ends production of Zima, Teenage Girls Saddened

Oct 20, 2008

MILWAUKEE (AP) — MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

He says distributors can get remaining Zima inventories most likely through December.

Distributors are being asked to put products from caffeinated alcoholic beverage Sparks on retail store shelves to make up for Zima's absence.

The brand came to the joint venture from Molson Coors, maker of Coors Light and Keystone.

Manny Pacquiao

Caught this on ESPN last night, happy to see it's already been posted up to YouTube.



December 6th, Manny fights De La Hoya. Most anticipated fight of the year.
We gotta watch.

Allan Thinks He Can Dance

I remember hanging out with Allan in 1998, back when we used to live with Piston Honda in Union Square. His favorite club was called Match, his drink of choice was a Tom Collins extra sweet, and boy did he live to dance. I don't know if it was his mascot training that lit a spark, but I have never seen someone just get down and boogie to Big Pun's "I'm not a Player." He had some very interesting dances, but the one that stands out in particular is highlighted nicely in this video around the 1:00 mark. Check out the guy in the black suit. Although its not Allan in the clip, I think it gives a near identical representation of his dance skills:

Jean Claude Van Damme at the Brooklyn Academy of Music

JCVD, aka Jean Claude Van Damme's new movie, will be coming to BAM in the next few days. What's a Van Damme movie doing at BAM? Who cares. All you need to know is that he'll be there for a talk on Thursday, November 6 at 7 p.m.

From the above link's description:
"A surprise smash at both the Cannes and Toronto film festivals, JCVD reveals the Muscles from Brussels in ways you've never seen him before--facing a child custody battle and a career that is rapidly tumbling downhill (hitting rock bottom when he loses a part to his rival Steven Segal)."

Here's the trailer:

Halloween Costume?

Holy Mary, this is so dope. Probably gonna customize a "95 South" or "Whoot There It Is" t-shirt at some point this weekend.

"Ooh-e ooo e, look at that booty
Ooh-e ooo e, Excuse me Sonny
Ooh-e ooo e, look at that booty
Ooh-e ooo e, Excuse me Sonny"

Some Good Pro-Communist Articles on the Financial Crisis

I thought this was a good article on how we should approach the financial crisis.

Capitalism happens. When and where it does, capitalism casts its own special shadow: a self-critique of capitalism's basic flaws that says modern society can do better by establishing very different, post-capitalist economic systems. This critical shadow rises up to terrify capitalism when -- in crisis periods such as now -- capitalism hits the fan. Karl Marx poetically called that shadow the specter that haunts capitalism.

More...

Here is another one that I thought had some good insight into why the rush for huge bailouts is a bad idea.

One of the most striking things about the reaction to the current financial meltdown is that, as one of the participants put it: ‘No one really knows what to do.’ The reason is that expectations are part of the game: how the market reacts to a particular intervention depends not only on how much bankers and traders trust the interventions, but even more on how much they think others will trust them. Keynes compared the stock market to a competition in which the participants have to pick several pretty girls from a hundred photographs: ‘It is not a case of choosing those which, to the best of one’s judgment, are really the prettiest, nor even those which average opinion genuinely thinks the prettiest. We have reached the third degree where we devote our intelligence to anticipating what average opinion expects the average opinion to be.‘ We are forced to make choices without having the knowledge that would enable us to make them; or, as John Gray has put it: ‘We are forced to live as if we were free.’

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Jose, can't you see?!

Monday night marked the passing of an On-Fire Hall of Fame legend. No, Jose Canseco - the Godfather of steroids who practically built the OFHOF with his bare hands (and artificially enhanced biceps) - isn't dead. Technically. But he's dead to me.

Why? On an A&E special in which he was given a remarkable platform on which to expound upon his recently released sequel to his time-honored classic "Juiced" - a sequel in which he boldly, blindly, and therefore awesomely accuses A-Rod of juicing - Jose instead APOLOGIZED for writing it and said he "regrets" doing so.

Take a look:

Say it ain't so, Jose! Canseco's lying in bed and longingly staring at a video of himself back in the Bash Brothers days notwithstanding, this is rock bottom for Jose. Later in the A&E feature, camera crews capture Canseco attempting to break into his own home after his house has been condemned. The video is of course hilarious, but it is a clear symbol as to the depth of Jose's sudden disgracehood. Once I find the video I will post it.

So the man who gave us not only two "Juiced" books that forced Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro--among others--into seclusion; the man who shared a house with Verne Troyer on the "Surreal Life"; the man who tried to break into the George Mitchell steroids press conference in New York last winter to ask his own questions....only now, after apologizing for the baseball-wide chaos he created, has he truly disgraced himself.

Like Pete Rose before him, Canseco is a man who was a sure-fire, On-Fire Hall of Famer who apologized on national television for the very thing that earned him his first ballot induction. Both should have realized that such apologies won't help their Baseball Hall of Fame chances...and cost them their OFHOF status.

R.I.P. Jose

NOTE: As Allan pointed out, if this is all one big ploy to sell more books and elbow his way back into the national sports consciousness, please discount everything I just said. Stay tuned.

Mike Tyson's PUNCH-OUT!! Real and Imagined Endings

Mike Tyson's PUNCH-OUT!! ranks as one of the top 5 video games of all time. This is no mystery, as Mike Tyson ranks as one of the top 5 people of all time. Below is the ending for the NES game you'd see if you were actually able to defeat Tyson (I finally did it my sophomore year at NYU) and the special WHS ending to the game.

Real Ending (note severe racial and national stereotyping of characters):


WHS Special Ending (note everything):

Find out where to vote, sucka!

You think you saw this video already, where Sarah Palin refuses to mention a single magazine or journal that she reads, but there's a bit of a twist near the end of this one. Watch it all the way through.

Please help me title this picture:

Suggestions so far:

"The many faces of Renee"

"Wincott has Spoken!"

"For Every Renee You Slay, There Are A Million More Poisonous Renees That Emerge"

For inspiration, click here.

From the above link to the Michael Wincott/Rene Ricard fansite:
"Later that evening, Rene has been drowning his sorrows and is by now quite drunk. He creates a scene at an exclusive restaurant, and is eventually thrown out in the funniest scene of the movie." AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH



Someone also please investigate this lead (Wincott assisting the Obama campaign?)
Wincott Doing Obama Ads?

W

At last, the great unintentional comedy biopic of our time has arrived. This one should make "Bobby" seem like "Citizen Kane". Please observe how not only do NONE of the actors cast look like the real-life people they are portraying, but judging by the trailer - they don't even attempt to sound like them.

When the credits roll at the end of the trailer, revealing the hit list of who's playing who, you will literally laugh harder and harder with each successive visual.

My apologies if this video has already been posted, but this is probably something you can never get enough of anyway.

WHS Classic Sitcom Scenes: The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

This unintentionally funny scene is from the episode, "Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse". WARNING: do not watch at work, as it is very hard to control laughter

Johnny Cash and Louis Armstrong

I just came across this little gem on youtube; a duet with Johnny Cash and Louis Armstrong. As far as I could tell this was the only time they performed together. I have always enjoyed both of them, and its cool to see them on the same stage:

"Damn E, they tried to fade you on 'Dre Day' "

"...but 'Dre Day' only met Eazy's pay day"

These were the days.



Favorite line: "Damn E, they

Hey Ya'll Wanna See Some Manute Bol?

Barkley and Mahorn Have Fun With Manute


Blocks


"Sky Hook"


(Still searching for the game where Manute just lofts three pointers, and hits them, to the disbelief of the commentator)

Elvis

I don't think you can get more on fire than the late Elvis Presley. I spent this morning reviewing youtube clips of his last few concerts. He is not just fat, he has the look of someone with Cushing's syndrome. This is a condition where there is elevated cortisol in the blood stream creating edema in the extremities and the characteristic "moon face." It is more than the look of someone who had too many pancakes and beer.

As we all know he eventually died from his massive addiction to amphetamines, opiates, and alcohol. Some estimates indicate that he spent up to a million a year on his pills. Now, I remember being amazed that Christy Brinkley's ex husband spent $3000 a month on internet pornography, but good lord...Elvis blows him out of the water!

As I look at the old clips, I am amazed at his amount of sweat, apathy, and confusion. In one clip, he walks on stage ready to sing Frank Sinatra's classic "My Way", but unabashedly needs to read it from a piece of paper. In the other, he forgets lyrics to "Lonely Tonight," and in front of a crowd of thousands he babbles nonsensically with a smile on his face. But what makes him truly 'on fire' is that he could do this shit every week, in front of large crowds and television viewers, and get away with it. Amazing!