Thursday, July 31, 2008
Ballooning Sucks ... Really, Really Sucks
Reuters had a story about a priest wanting to raise money through an ill-fated derring-do. Some fundraiser - his body recently washed onto Brazil's southeastern coast. He must not have had very sincere friends if they green-lighted this attempt. "Yeah, Father, go for it! Sounds like an AWESOME idea!"
This, coupled with last weekend's post and comic about a suicide involving balloons, has me thinking that this is the summer of party accessories gone wrong. I predict mass casualties involving kazoos sometime in August. Party City stores can never be viewed in the same way - whereas before they were thought of as convenient places to pick up all things celebration, they will now be seen as one-stop shops providing the troubled with instruments of death.
Link to Reuters article
Pyongyang's Ryugyong Hotel
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Rich Old White Men Apologize for Enslaving and then Humiliating Black People for Hundreds of Years
The House of Representatives on Tuesday passed a resolution apologizing to African-Americans for slavery and the era of Jim Crow.
The nonbinding resolution, which passed on a voice vote, was introduced by Rep. Steve Cohen, a white lawmaker who represents a majority black district in Memphis, Tennessee.
While many states have apologized for slavery, it is the first time a branch of the federal government has done so, an aide to Cohen said.
In passing the resolution, the House also acknowledged the "injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of slavery and Jim Crow."
"Jim Crow," or Jim Crow laws, were state and local laws enacted mostly in the Southern and border states of the United States between the 1870s and 1965, when African-Americans were denied the right to vote and other civil liberties and were legally segregated from whites.
The name "Jim Crow" came from a character played by T.D. "Daddy" Rice who portrayed a slave while in blackface during the mid-1800s.
The resolution states that "the vestiges of Jim Crow continue to this day."
"African-Americans continue to suffer from the consequences of slavery and Jim Crow -- long after both systems were formally abolished -- through enormous damage and loss, both tangible and intangible, including the loss of human dignity and liberty, the frustration of careers and professional lives, and the long-term loss of income and opportunity," the resolution states.
The House also committed itself to stopping "the occurrence of human rights violations in the future."
The photo above is not a joke. That is actually Sen. Tony Hill, D-Jacksonville, left, hugging Senate President Ken Pruitt, R-Port St. Lucie.
Police Brutality Pt. 2 - Bicyclist Attacked by NYPD Officer
Fantasy Football Names
Monday, July 28, 2008
BYRD GANG MOVIE
Mike Tyson's Abandoned Mansion
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday Comix
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Nothing Witty Here, Just Clips That Make Me Laugh
Note: Simultaneous screams of horror, very loud footsteps on car and Larry Holmes' white tracksuit.
CLIP 2: If He Dies, He Dies
Note: On top of being really gangster, this is a phrase that may be used in every day situations, ie "Jim can't come out tonight. Whatever, if he dies, he dies."
CLIP 3: Modified Select Dental Commercial
Note: This guy beat us to the punch in spoiling this ad. It's tremendous work.
CLIP 4: Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Cover
Note: Equal parts hilarious and chilling, only the first few seconds are worth it.
CLIP 5: Daniel Larusso on the Worst Date Ever
Note: Best part, starting around 1:40, thug Dennis is so disgusted Daniel hasn't signed the paperwork to enter the next all-Valley tournament that he uses an inexplicable method we call 'the claw' to destroy a rice paper screen. A completely disproportionate amount of energy expended to rip something that only needed a slight tear makes this pure gold. The whole clip is a decent investment of your time.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Titles are so 1990s
In other news, I am quite excited about this:
He Has Spoken, Pt. 2 (Rejected by Wikipedia)
While it cannot offer any guarantee as to the outcome of any action, We Has Spoken believes that it has additional and sufficient grounds for success in a subsequent appeal of Wikipedia's determination. We Has Spoken is considering all its options, including slight modifications to its original submission, hiring an adviser, changes to its compensation structure and posting on an alternate website.
We Has Spoken acknowledges Wikipedia's popularity and usefulness and believes it would be a great service to its millions of readers and fans to have an entry describing its inspiration, "He Has Spoken". We Has Spoken looks forward to a constructive relationship with Wikipedia.
(Below is a reformatted version of a rejection notice served to HE HAS SPOKEN sundays, P.A., related to its submission for a "He Has Spoken" definition)
This page may meet Wikipedia's criteria for speedy deletion. The given reason is: This article provides no meaningful content or history, and/or the text is unsalvageably incoherent. It is patent nonsense (CSD G1).
If you disagree with its speedy deletion, please explain why on its talk page or at Wikipedia:Speedy deletions. If this page obviously does not meet the criteria for speedy deletion, or you intend to fix it, please remove this notice, but do not remove this notice from pages that you have created yourself.
If you intend to explain why you disagree with the speedy deletion, you may find it useful to insert the template {{hangon}} into this article prior to writing your explanation. This will alert administrators to your intention, and may permit you the time to write your explanation.
Administrators, remember to check if anything links here, the page history (last edit) and any revisions of CSD before deletion.
He Has Spoken
HE HAS SPOKEN is a phrase, concept and guild. The remark, while uttered countless times since the inception of the English language, gathered momentum in 1999 during a Wrestlemania XIV press conference featuring newly-crowned WWF champion "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and boxer Mike Tyson.
OVERVIEW
The two were seated side-by-side, celebrating a victory over "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. Austin delivered a typical "anyone, anytime, any place" sort of rant as Tyson nodded in concurrence. When prompted for a response, Iron Mike, who had served as a guest referee in the Austin/Michaels title fight, said, "I agree. It has been said...he has SPO-KEN! Cold Stone!"
Austin's mangled nickname had originally received the most coverage in New York City's East Village, the spiritual home of HE HAS SPOKEN. Yet after a few weeks, "I agree. It has been said..." and "Cold Stone" were dropped from the statement, leaving the "HE HAS SPOKEN"
expression.
Over 7 years, the declaration has been made by countless worldwide and has given rise to thousands of variations. These variations are reviewed and eventually sanctioned by HE HAS SPOKEN's governing body, HE HAS SPOKEN sundays, P.A.
VARIATIONS
Some of the offically-licensed HE HAS SPOKEN variations:
1- "Gilbert Gottfried": Saying HE HAS SPOKEN in a nasal, high-pitched manner.
2-"Dueling Wizards": Requires at least 2 participants. Participant A proclaims HE HAS SPOKEN and follows with lightning bolt sounds. Participant B responds in kind with crashing thunder.
3- "Poetry Slam": HE HAS SPOKEN is said in an urban, artconscious fashion.
4-"Furious": Angrily shouting the phrase. This is done quickly, as if all three words were one.
5- "Soft": Done in a tender, loving manner. Usually recited at baptisms and other milestone events involving young ones.
6- "Effeminate Man": Self-explanatory.
7- "Classic": Recited as spoken to the best of one's ability.
The goth says... HE has SPOKEN!!!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
NEA - "New Artists in the Workforce Study"
From the press release:
“Artists now play a huge but mostly unrecognized role in the new American economy of the 21st century,” said NEA Chairman Dana Gioia. “This report shows how important American artists are to both our nation’s cultural vitality and economic prosperity of our communities.”
Numbering almost two million, artists are one of the largest classes of workers in the nation, only slightly smaller than the U.S. military’s active-duty and reserve personnel (2.2 million)...artists earn an aggregate income of approximately $70 billion annually.
Among the key findings:
Demographic trends
- Between 1970 and 1990, the number of artists more than doubled, from 737,000 to 1.7 million – a much larger percentage gain than for the labor force as a whole. Between 1990 and 2005, the growth of artists slowed to a 16 percent rate, about the same as for the overall labor force.
- Women remain underrepresented in several artist occupations. Men outnumber women in architecture, announcing, music, production, and photography. Women outnumber men in the fields of dance, design, and writing.
- Like the larger labor force, the artist population is becoming more diverse. The proportion of Hispanic, Asian, and American Indian artists grew from about nine percent of artists in 1990 to almost 15 percent by 2005.
Geographic distribution
- Opportunities for artistic employment are greater in metropolitan areas. More than one-fifth of all U.S. artists live in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Washington, and Boston. Half of all artists live in 30 metropolitan areas.
- Unique regional concentrations emerge. New Mexico has the highest share of fine artists, Vermont has the highest proportion of writers, and Tennessee, the highest proportion of musicians.
Employment and income
- Artists are entrepreneurial – 3.5 times more likely to be self-employed.
- Artists are underemployed – one-third of artists work for only part of the year.
- Artists generally earn less than workers with similar education levels. The median income from all sources in 2005 was $34,800 for artists, higher than the $30,100 median for the total labor force, and lower than the $43,200 for all professionals.
Education level
- Artists are more educated. Artists are twice as likely to have a college degree as other U.S. workers.
- The share of degree-holding artists rose between 1990 and 2005.
- Among artist occupations with the highest educational attainment levels are architects, writers, and producers.
FULL REPORT
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
Pheonix Mars Lander...Seven Minutes of Terror
Before I show the photos, I'll give a little background on the mission. The landing took place back in May 2008, and the rover is still exploring its soil for conditions for life. The thing that impresses me most is the science and engineering that went into the descent. How can you take a multi ton object traveling at 12,500 mph and safely land it in seven minutes in a very thin atmosphere? This video explains the whole process:
Now with that information, I thought you guys might appreciate these photos. What amazes me is how we can have a camera orbiting Mars taking real time snapshots of an event planned on earth a few years ago happening 36 million miles away.
The first photo: Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter's High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRISE) camera acquired this image of Phoenix hanging from its parachute as it descended to the Martian surface. Shown here is a 10 kilometer (6 mile) diameter crater informally called "Heimdall," and an improved full-resolution image of the parachute and lander. Although it appears that Phoenix is descending into the crater, it is actually about 20 kilometers (about 12 miles) in front of the crater.
A second photo blown up:
Talk about an amazing photo!
朋友 (péng yǒu): friend
pronunciation: "pung yo" with a rising tone on "pung" and a rising, then falling tone on "yo" (or just click the links above to hear Real Audio clips of the pronunciation)
I am going to single-handedly attempt to bring the Mandarin word 朋友 into the English language. I like the way it sounds, and "friend" is a pretty important word in any language. I can imagine it being used in the same way that "amigo" is often used: thrown into an English sentence to address close friends, casual acquaintances or even strangers to whom you bear no ill will.
Example (on the subway, addressing a stranger):
"Don't sit there, my friend, the seat is wet!"
Instead, one could say:
"Beware, 朋友, there is a foul liquid, possibly urine, on that seat."
Now you give it a try, 朋友.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sonic booms and things that make me tingle
Back in 1997 I remember seeing this CNN clip of this car that broke the land speed record. It totally amazed me when I hear this massive engine getting closer and louder as it approached the camera then...KABLAOUUUU!!! A goddamn sonic boom. The footage was equally impressive with the heat from the Moab sand creating a neat reflective mirage.
Anyhow...this got me excited and eager to see more sonic booms...so here are a few youtube videos that made me tingle...
312 CONSECUTIVE BARE KNUCKLE PUSH UPS
In the spirit of Werner Herzog I have performed 312 consecutive push ups on my fists and I challenge anyone to best me.
Dick Durbin Senatorial Spam
SIX FLAGS MORE FLAGS MORE FUN GUY
My baby loves this commercial. Every time it comes on she freezes and watches it. I love it too. I wonder how they found this guy. I can imagine there was a casting session and he showed up and started screaming at the camera and they were like 'this is the guy.' This guy was born to do this.
7.25, No Camera, Zidane & This Other Life
inspired me. The song playing throughout is "7.25" by Mogwai. I've spent 99 cents to buy this song off of iTunes (a rarity since I still prefer buying cd's but I couldn't wait) and if I've watched the clip over 20 times, I've listened to the song over 100. Despite not having seen the entire film, I've been motivated to make a highly-selective, minimally-invasive, photographic pseudo-documentary of my everyday. For obvious reasons, I can't say whether this project will be in the same vein as "Zidane" or not, but all I know is that I don't own a digital camera. I'm going to have to borrow, buy or steal one.
I waited for a car to come pick me up to drive me home for few minutes after work tonight (12:15 am, or 50 minutes ago). I was just looking at cars and buses coming down Lexington Avenue. All I wanted to do was take out my camera phone and snap away. I didn't think about how original the images were going to be, or the poor quality they were going to be presented in, I just wanted to record those images. That feeling was truth. That temporary absence of restrictive feelings and abundant questioning made me understand just how much self-doubt we all live in. Arguably, some live more socially constrained lives than others but we all exist within these boundaries. Different situations, different masks. I don't care if they're self-imposed or not.
I thought of what my life looks like in the morning now that I live alone and nobody can see me. Or what my walk to the subway must look like. What do I focus on? What breaks that focus every now and then? Maybe my friends want to see what my apartment looks like when I don't know they're coming over. Who cares? This project will answer just a few of these questions and maybe more will come about because of this. I'm not promising unfettered access into my life. I'm not an artist. I'm certainly not a photographer. I just want to see what a few days look like to me.
This could be interesting or it could be a load of self-absorbed garbage.
There are times when I really don't know who I am.
I promise a funny post will be coming soon.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Push-Ups
The push-up is the ultimate test of personal fitness. It requires no equipment, very little time, and it's nothing but you and your own body weight.
Back in March of this year, the New York Times had a good article on the importance of the push-up: "As a symbol of health and wellness, nothing surpasses the simple push-up." According to the article, a 40-year old man should be able to do 27 push-ups. I'm 29 and can currently do 45 consecutive push-ups.
For the past 5 weeks, I've been working on a 6 week program that claims anyone who follows the program will be able to do 100 consecutive push-ups upon completion. I'm not so sure I'll actually make it that far by the end of week 6 (I've been struggling with weeks 4 & 5 and will probably repeat week 5 before moving on), but I have noticed considerable improvement in my strength and endurance. The program only takes about 15 minutes a day, 3 days a week. I suggest everyone check out hundredpushups.com and give it a try.
If you take the challenge, let me know how it goes.
I'll update my progress in the comments.
Next time: Pull-ups.
Captain Lou Albano's 75th Bday Ruined by Friend's Nuclear Meltdown
Courtesy today's NY POST:
A 75th-birthday bash for wrestling icon Capt. Lou Albano turned into a real-life "Wrestlemania" event when "The Sandman" allegedly got drunk and went berserk - and "The Zombie" and "Pitbull" struggled to restrain him as a SWAT team was called in.
"It was unbelievable - I've never seen anything like it," one stunned party guest told The Post yesterday, after wrestler Jim "The Sandman" Fullington found himself at the center of a bottle-hurling, glass-smashing melee with the owner of La Lanterna restaurant in Yonkers.
"If you didn't know better, you'd think the whole thing had been staged."
Five Yonkers cops, a SWAT unit and an ambulance had to be called to stop the brawl, which partygoers said started after Fullington exchanged words with eatery owner T.J. Tarone - who responded by shattering a beer bottle in the face of the 6-foot-6, 300-pound wrestler.
The bloodied and battered Fullington - an Extreme Championship Wrestling pro and longtime friend of the legendary Albano - left the party in an ambulance, and woke up in a Westchester jail cell yesterday, charged with assault, according to Yonkers cops.
PHOTO GALLERY: Wrestling Bar Brawl
The bizarre scene unfolded late Sunday, after a daylong gathering of about 150 of Albano's nearest and dearest, including Fullington and the other wrestlers.
Around 5 p.m., Fullington - who'd earlier given a touching toast to his pal - became loud and boisterous, witnesses said.
He was in the bar "smacking around the lights like they were a speedbag," one source said.
"The next thing you knew, it was chaos," a witness said.
Fullington went after Tarone, as fellow wrestlers Tim "The Zombie" Roberts and Gary "Pitbull" Wolfe took him outside and tried to calm him.
Then "the owner guy pulls out a beer bottle and - from about three feet away - just hauls off and whips it at this wrestler guy," one witness said.
Albano's agent and niece, Kami Albano, who had planned the soiree, confirmed that account.
"Sandman was bleeding all over the place," she said.
An enraged Fullington broke free from his buddies and chased Tarone back through the restaurant into the kitchen.
There, witnesses said, "The Sandman" picked up dish-racks full of glassware and started throwing them through the air.
By then, cops had been called - and came into the kitchen with guns drawn.
A Yonkers police spokeswoman said Fullington "resisted arrest," and that two cops were later treated for glass wounds and "exposure to blood."
Tarone was at the beach yesterday and through friends, declined comment.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Police Brutality
Friday, July 18, 2008
under construction...
We has not yet spoken.