National Anthems Part 2: Russia, USSR

Below are the national anthems of the Russian Federation and the former Soviet Union. They have different lyrics, but both are great to have on your iPods.

Note: when I was a child I was terrified of the Soviets, not because of stories I had heard of how close we may have come to nuclear meltdown, or because of the fear of Communism threatening our way of life, but because of Ivan Drago. He killed Apollo Creed in front of millions of people. That's hard to watch as a 7 year old. It never ceases to amaze me how history can prove what's right and wrong, often contrary to what widespread beliefs are at the time of events in question. I've come to realize that Apollo should've been killed. He was annoying. If he dies, he dies.

Russian Federation


USSR:

Nothing Witty Here, Just Clips That Make Me Laugh

CLIP 1: Missile Dropkick From Top Of Car
Note: Simultaneous screams of horror, very loud footsteps on car and Larry Holmes' white tracksuit.



CLIP 2: If He Dies, He Dies
Note: On top of being really gangster, this is a phrase that may be used in every day situations, ie "Jim can't come out tonight. Whatever, if he dies, he dies."



CLIP 3: Modified Select Dental Commercial
Note: This guy beat us to the punch in spoiling this ad. It's tremendous work.



CLIP 4: Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Cover
Note: Equal parts hilarious and chilling, only the first few seconds are worth it.



CLIP 5: Daniel Larusso on the Worst Date Ever
Note: Best part, starting around 1:40, thug Dennis is so disgusted Daniel hasn't signed the paperwork to enter the next all-Valley tournament that he uses an inexplicable method we call 'the claw' to destroy a rice paper screen. A completely disproportionate amount of energy expended to rip something that only needed a slight tear makes this pure gold. The whole clip is a decent investment of your time.