The Face of Seppuku

Caption from telegraph.co.uk story:
"Tears for fears: Toyota F1 team pricipal Tadashi Yamashina breaks down after announcing that the team is to quit Formula One Photo: GETTY IMAGES "

UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY ALERT - LEVEL RED: Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino"

WHS has posted this urgent advisory for Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino". The advisory has been classified as a RED ALERT, meaning the threat to Eastwood's legacy is severe, and that a WHS field trip to the Court Street 12 is mandatory.

Note that he says "get off my lawn". This may be a tribute to Harrison Ford's disgracefully hilarious "get off my plane" from "Air Force One" (clip follows Eastwood trailer).

"Get Off My Lawn!"


"Get Off My Career!"


The We Has Spoken Alert System:
RED (severe): guaranteed career-spoiling unintentional comedy, theater attendance is required on opening weekend
ORANGE (high): very likely career threat to a film legend, damage may be very difficult to overcome, theater attendance is highly recommended
YELLOW (elevated): trailer may hint at career-jeopardizing lines and performances but may contain all the film actually has, dvd screening is acceptable

Pacquiao: Champ, Lopez: Chump

Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao beat Oscar "don't hurt me too hard" De La Hoya's ass last night. Even with Pacquiao holding back for the last four rounds, it still wasn't even close. The match was officially called "by the ref" after 8 rounds, but actually De La Hoya's camp threw in the towel; They were overheard deciding to give in because Pac-Man was simply "too fast." I suspect if De La Hoya wasn't hosting the fight and if boxing wasn't such a corrupt enterprise, Pacquiao would have KO'ed De La Hoya in the 6th round.

In related news, while Fillipinos everywhere rejoiced over this triumphant victory for their country, All@n Lopez completely missed the whole fucking thing. Disgrace.

DISGRACE ALERT: O.J. Simpson Apologizes; Johnnie Cochrane Rolls in Grave

O.J. Simpson disgraced himself yesterday at his sentencing by violating some of WHS very simple rules. Number one, he apologized. Apologizing is one of the cardinal WHS sins. Secondly, he mentioned composing book reports for children. Mentioning children is also a cardinal sin when in front of a judge. Jesus Christ.

John: dude speaking of disgrace - OJ
Allan: WTF
John: begging for the mercy of the court
John: by saying he wrote book reports for a kids?
Allan: i know
John: seriously
Allan: i hate oj now
John: et tu, OJ?
Allan: AHHAHA FB Status
hahahahaah
John: done
Allan: hahahha
i was so disappointed
you know what's worse?
when someone gets off or a light sentence
and they DON'T celebrate
John: i know
they need to celebrate
Allan: like when michael jackson didn't moonwalk in fornt of the courthouse
John: the picture on the cover of the times today shows OJ's attorney covering his eyes
and i know he's just thinking:
"Sorry Johnny Cochran"
Allan: hahahahahahaha
oh shit
johnny cochran is rolling in his grave
John: i know
he's going to rise again for the appeal
Allan: oh shit
hahahahah
i am laughing so damn hard now
John: ha haha
we should post this on WHS

Least Popular Kid in School

This video made me feel kind bad for the guy. I mean, sure he's the worst president ever, but it's just sad to see him walking by all the other world leaders with his head hanging like that.

Captain Lou Albano's 75th Bday Ruined by Friend's Nuclear Meltdown

Now this is what I call a Nuclear Meltdown.

Courtesy today's NY POST:

A 75th-birthday bash for wrestling icon Capt. Lou Albano turned into a real-life "Wrestlemania" event when "The Sandman" allegedly got drunk and went berserk - and "The Zombie" and "Pitbull" struggled to restrain him as a SWAT team was called in.

"It was unbelievable - I've never seen anything like it," one stunned party guest told The Post yesterday, after wrestler Jim "The Sandman" Fullington found himself at the center of a bottle-hurling, glass-smashing melee with the owner of La Lanterna restaurant in Yonkers.

"If you didn't know better, you'd think the whole thing had been staged."

Five Yonkers cops, a SWAT unit and an ambulance had to be called to stop the brawl, which partygoers said started after Fullington exchanged words with eatery owner T.J. Tarone - who responded by shattering a beer bottle in the face of the 6-foot-6, 300-pound wrestler.

The bloodied and battered Fullington - an Extreme Championship Wrestling pro and longtime friend of the legendary Albano - left the party in an ambulance, and woke up in a Westchester jail cell yesterday, charged with assault, according to Yonkers cops.

PHOTO GALLERY: Wrestling Bar Brawl

The bizarre scene unfolded late Sunday, after a daylong gathering of about 150 of Albano's nearest and dearest, including Fullington and the other wrestlers.

Around 5 p.m., Fullington - who'd earlier given a touching toast to his pal - became loud and boisterous, witnesses said.

He was in the bar "smacking around the lights like they were a speedbag," one source said.

"The next thing you knew, it was chaos," a witness said.

Fullington went after Tarone, as fellow wrestlers Tim "The Zombie" Roberts and Gary "Pitbull" Wolfe took him outside and tried to calm him.

Then "the owner guy pulls out a beer bottle and - from about three feet away - just hauls off and whips it at this wrestler guy," one witness said.

Albano's agent and niece, Kami Albano, who had planned the soiree, confirmed that account.

"Sandman was bleeding all over the place," she said.

An enraged Fullington broke free from his buddies and chased Tarone back through the restaurant into the kitchen.

There, witnesses said, "The Sandman" picked up dish-racks full of glassware and started throwing them through the air.

By then, cops had been called - and came into the kitchen with guns drawn.

A Yonkers police spokeswoman said Fullington "resisted arrest," and that two cops were later treated for glass wounds and "exposure to blood."

Tarone was at the beach yesterday and through friends, declined comment.